I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
