I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
