the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
