R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
