I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
