Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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