The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
