my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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