He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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