i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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