margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
