My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
