If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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