just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
