i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
