I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
