i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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