we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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