let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Randomize
