if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
