I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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