alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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