similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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