i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
