Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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