at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
