so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
