what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
