he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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