I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
