no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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