If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
