his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
