TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
