Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
