Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
