I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
