my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
