what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
