who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
