I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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