I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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