I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
