its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
