I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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