Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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