I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
did i just pee glitter
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
