There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
