He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
