I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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