Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
