Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
