Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
